2022.01.03. Tall Woman.
New Year’s Day.
Approached extremely tall attractive woman to introduce myself. She is pretty. But her height makes her significantly more imposing and intimidating. She towers over the other women at the gym. She is at least 6 inches taller than me. As with people of both sexes, her height has that quality that draws the eye.
She was on an elliptical machine. That meant she hovered more than foot above me as we spoke. I walked up near the machine and looked right at her. I didn’t try to accidently “bump into her” or do some other passive, indirect attempt. I sent an unmistakable signal by standing there: I’m here specifically to talk to you.
Me. “New Year’s resolution.”
Me. “No, mine. (pause) To learn everyone’s name around here.”
Her. “I’m Tessa.” [T for tall, not her actual name]
She relaxed and played along. I was glad to have a chance to reject her frame and impose mine on her. She enjoyed being staged. I was full of nerves. My heart pounded for 15 seconds (a long time). I’ve noticed her from afar for at least 4 years.
I’m self-conscious about my height (5'8"). So I’ve been more intimidated by her than all the women I see regularly. And I’ve never seen another man speak to her. I suspect I wasn’t alone in my fear.
She was friendly and as we spoke it was like she was at eye-level with me. This is significant. In the span of a few seconds, her singularly unapproachable quality disappeared to the point that I didn’t notice it. And we just talked. I kept it fairly short, decent banter about resolutions and a few other things. Then I moved along.
As a stated preference, height is non-negotiable for most women (see online dating). As real life preference, it is very negotiable for most women. Sadly real life is the abstraction for the anxious guy (though not the confident man). Even if I am too short for her, it doesn’t matter. The victory is in defeating height anxiety for later.
Looking forward to also tackling delicious ass anxiety and massive breasts anxiety.
Two days later, I saw her again and greeted her, a nice good morning. I didn’t stop to talk because I’m trying to avoid overexposure, or coming off as invested. I didn’t catch a ton of her body language, but her disposition brightened considerably on when I spoke to her.
I continue to suspect she is starved for direct attention because of her height. And therefore, has a reserve of warmth and availability for the few willing to step up. Don’t know if other guys notice her from afar. But that is indirect orbiter attention. It can never replace direct.
Anxious Nixon would have foolishly and desperately begged for it all (and ruined the mystery, to her frustration). Despite my suspicion that she’s not getting the attention she deserves, and my desire to give it to her, I have to make her earn it… slowly.
I’ll approach again in couple weeks. If I get a clear signal of interest and availability, I’ll ask for social media to learn about her and see if there’s a text game.